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You probably spend a peachy deal of fourth dimension feeling defeated and frustrated by the narcissist in your life. You see how they treat other people (and yourself), and it'due south appalling.  Y'all certainly know what you lot don't similar in your human relationship. But have you ever wondered how to make a narcissist miserable?

Just for the record, trying to make a narcissist miserable might have its identify for a brusque catamenia of time, but I don't recommend focusing on it for besides long as this volition inevitably accept an effect on your mental health and energy levels.

But, if you need a quick fix, let'due south go into the height 12 things all narcissists detest.

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable

one – Lack Of Acknowledgment

Information technology's no underground that nearly narcissists revel in admiration and validation (except for 'closet narcissists'). They depend on constant approval to maintain their sense of intrinsic worth. To achieve this goal, they absorb (or steal) the energy of other people to feel good almost themselves.

Exercise you ever wonder why narcissists don't seem to mind the negative attending? Information technology'due south because negative attention also fuels their narcissistic burn. The negativity is notwithstanding attention, and whatever form of attending gives them the incentive to keep going. It gives them the motivation to keep proving themselves.

In fact, they frequently similar negative attention better considering if yous're all the same bothered by their human relationship crimes, they can exploit this in order to deepen the trauma bond and keep yous hooked and entangled!

Therefore, a lack of acknowledgment is a existent threat. To a narcissist, indifference is even more than of an issue than hatred. They'd rather yous have a negative stance than take no opinion at all.

Narcissists can't stand when no i is paying attention to them. They don't know how to feel important or special if they aren't the eye of the universe or consuming someone'southward thoughts.  This is too why the traditional Grayness Stone method is often pointless and why complete avoidance is the best route (or extreme modified contact if you lot share children with them).

two – When People Speak Factually

Have y'all ever paid close attention to how a narcissist speaks? They use excessive, long-winded language charged with grandiose emotion. They skew reality to run across their worldview, and they believe their truth is always the truth.

Additionally, through the use of cognitive empathy, they've spent their entire lives observing the emotional language of other people and using it to their advantage.  Then, when you speak in facts instead of using emotion, they intuitively understand they have less of an upper hand.

Therefore, they hate when someone challenges them with facts instead of emotion. They will usually retaliate with more arguing or hysteria. This kittenish response only shows that they feel out-of-control. They attempt to elevate the conversation'due south intensity past throwing an emotional temper tantrum.

If anything, this dynamic only highlights the narcissist's immaturity. Their inability to blot facts demonstrates their incompetence in approaching most adult interactions. They are not skilled in the language of facts because they are e'er lying and hiding things, then speaking factually throws them completely off-balance.

3 – Dominance

Narcissists detest authority. That's because they resent having to answer to anybody merely themselves. Whatever sense of authority threatens their inherent desires for power and control.

Information technology's not uncommon for narcissists to have issues at piece of work, school, or with the constabulary. Has the narcissist in your life had multiple jobs? Are they oft getting reprimanded for their behavior?

While narcissists can be intelligent, they often come up across as antagonistic and unfit in professional environments. If confronted by their inappropriate behavior, they tend to deny or rationalize their function.

Of course, information technology's no surprise that about authorisation figures dislike working with narcissists. Supervisors observe them unruly and unreasonable. They can't sympathize why the person can't follow basic directions without such volatile reactions.

4 – Being Told No

Of all things a narcissist hates, existence told no (and actually post-obit through with it) tops the list. Narcissists are used to manipulating and weaseling their way into getting what they desire.

Often, they'll pull all the stops to accomplish this chore. They've spent their whole lives mannerly people to come across their needs. They never stop to think about how your feelings touch the dynamic.

That's why telling them no- and being determined on your stance- oftentimes causes such an angry reaction. A narcissist isn't just upset about the denial- they're downright confused by information technology!

Narcissists can't actually fathom why someone would refuse them. Considering they lack real empathy, they can't empathise what must be going on in your heed. Moreover, fifty-fifty if they endeavour to comprehend information technology, they decline to accept this reality.

5 – Implementing Consequences

Have you e'er tried to set a boundary with a narcissist? How well did it go? Most likely, you tried to implement a limit, and they reacted in one of 3 ways:

• Dismissing you lot altogether and gaslighting your feelings
• Acknowledging their mistake, promising to alter, and then doing zippo to alter
• Reacting with intense rage, threats, or even physical violence

Narcissists can't accept any real consequences. They can't see when they're wrong, and they can't sympathize how someone would always think they're incorrect. And fifty-fifty if the narcissist understood this, they just wouldn't care.  As a result, they tend to react unduly to boundaries and serious conversations equally a ways to intimidate you and force you lot into compliance.

Unfortunately, many people simply give up on trying to implement consequences with narcissists. Because they want to avoid a potential conflict, they surrender and dismiss their feelings. How many times have you lot avoided setting a real boundary because that's only how they are?

6 – Losing At Anything

Have you ever observed young children playing a board game? If so, y'all probably witnessed plenty of cheating behaviors and dramatic reactions to losing. It's acceptable when the players are three years sometime, but what happens when you're referring to full-fledged adults?

Narcissists tin can resemble toddlers, in that they tend to be extremely sore losers. They struggle to take losing, and they too tend to lash out when it happens. A few scenarios may occur:

• They repeatedly proclaim the person in charge (boss/referee) was incompetent
• They endeavour to defame or humiliate the winner
• They pretend they didn't care about winning
• They insist that they "let the other person" take the spotlight
• They refuse to have that they lost and awkwardly human activity every bit if they're the bodily winner (y'all may have experienced this by hearing, later on you've left them, that they've told everyone they're the one who left you!)

vii – Public Humiliation

Considering they are sore losers, narcissists can't handle existent or perceived public humiliation. They just can't tolerate the threat of failure. To them, public humiliation is the ultimate form of defeat.

We all know that narcissists have incredibly fragile egos. When they believe someone is making fun of them or if they're not the perceived expert or dominance in a public setting, it jolts their beingness. Every bit a outcome, they'll do anything to protect their frail ego. Some common responses include:

• Making trigger-happy or emotionally-charged threats
• Attempting to one-upwards the audience past turning on them
• Screaming or yelling
• Walking away with obvious anger
• Laughing it off in public just to lash out subsequently loved ones later
• Making up lies about anyone who is a existent expert

8 – Expectations of Commitment

Most narcissists are terrible with commitment. Although they believe they deserve all senses of loyalty, they don't normally provide it themselves. Equally a result, when they get into relationships, they don't consider other people'south needs. They're only accounting for their own emotions, impulses, and desires.

Unfortunately, many adoring partners agree onto wistful hope almost their narcissist changing. They listen to how the narcissist praises and adores them. They hold onto fleeting promises that this time will be dissimilar.

Yet the narcissist makes all the rules. They determine what they want to do, and they practice it when they want to do it. Therefore, they tin can break and change the rules in ways that suit them.

9 – Vulnerability And Emotional Expression

Narcissists ofttimes use cerebral empathy to feign interest in other people's emotions. Existent, emotional empathy ways putting ourselves in someone else's shoes. We accept on the feelings and experiences of the other person.

Cerebral empathy, on the other hand, is far more insidious and manipulative. Recollect about the coin-hungry salesman who preys on your ambivalence about buying a new car. Think about the general contractor who convinces y'all that you demand to upgrade your appliances.

Cognitive empathy ways tapping into someone's deep emotions and feelings. This tactic requires having an initial connexion. Narcissists use cerebral empathy to "gain entry" into your vulnerability. They constitute this sense of trust and rapport using false kindness and pity.

At the same time, they loathe vulnerability and emotional expression. They perceive it every bit a sign of weakness. Therefore, they use it to accept advantage of you when your defenses are down.

10 – 99% Of Other People

How many friends does your narcissist accept? Probably very few. Ordinarily, their only friends are other people who validate their narcissism.

Subsequently, how oft exercise you hear your narcissist mutter near other people? More times than you tin count, probably! That's considering a unmarried wrongdoing oft results in lifetime resentment. One fault tarnishes an entire reputation.

Narcissists struggle to get along with anyone who doesn't fit into their falsified worldview. They can't stand up to be challenged. They can't tolerate the ideas that other people may know more than than them.

If they're a cerebral narcissist, they are convinced that they are unique and should only associate with other special or loftier-status individuals. In fact, when confronted with anything that contradicts their sense of god-like stature, yous can bet that their reaction volition be explosive and malicious.

Therefore, narcissists tin can't tolerate people who actually live in reality. That's why you rarely see people with strong boundaries tolerating narcissists for very long. They recognize that the narcissist can't provide mutual respect, connection, or dearest.

11 – Your Ain Clarity

Above anything, the narcissist hates the idea that yous might remember life before you met them. This concern is their greatest fear, and they'll engage in many manipulative tactics to prevent information technology from manifesting.

Narcissists employ love-bombing to keep yous captured and intrigued. They'll win you over with their charm and wit and cognitive empathy. They'll make y'all feel special in ways y'all've never felt before (all through the use of cognitive empathy, of course).

Simply the narcissist never wants you to remember for yourself. If y'all commencement doing that, they'll react. They'll attempt to break you down and sabotage yous. They'll make y'all doubt your capabilities and question your motives.

Their goal is to reprogram your mind- and they'll practice whatever they tin can to maintain their preferred status quo.

12 – When Yous Change The Condition Quo

Narcissists hate change when it's out of their control. Simply when you stay with a narcissist, you remain in a defeating pattern full of resentment and frustration.

If yous're truly wondering how to make a narcissist miserable, the best way is to leave them.  Annihilation else simply feeds into their mind control games, which makes them believe they however have ability over you.  When y'all choose yourself over the narcissist by leaving the relationship for good, this is the virtually constructive mode to show them they no longer take you as their boob on a string.

Leaving the narcissist is the ultimate way to humiliate, outsmart, and overpower them.  Walking away and living your life is the best possible way to get back at a narcissist.

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is hard, and it'south okay to admit you need help. If you lot're gear up to go deeper now, check out the #i therapist-canonical online plan for narcissistic abuse recovery. Thousands of people accept benefited from this program that'southward practical, proven, and reliable.  It's the best place to brainstorm a journey toward renewed cocky-worth and an end to feeling worthless.

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Source: https://kimsaeed.com/2020/08/12/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable-12-things-they-hate/

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